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Hey guys, it’s been ages! So did you find the non-dual grail or what?
No, you didn’t? Perfect! everything’s normal then! After all, FRUSTRATION is the number one emotion
fueling the nondual quest right? So I guess you’re doin’ just fine! I know I’m doing just fine! ^^
I’m writing this final post NOT to let you know that no-one has achieved enlightenment here…
Damn! I’m doing it again!! I swore to myself I’d stop talking like a lunatic allergic to pronouns!
So I’m writing this last post NOT to let you guys know I have realized my true nature,
BUT to tell you that I’m alive and well! I suddenly stopped updating Nondual Comedy
without any warning, so I thought I’d show signs of life!
And to answer your questions: No, I haven’t hung my self! NO WAY!!!
Suicide spelled backwards is Edicius! and according to Urbandictionary.com
“If suicide is to end your own life, edicius means to bring yourself back from death.
The name represents relentlessness, coming back for more , even after death.”
Well, right here we are clearly talking about how life goes on once the “ME” and its psychological suffering conclude!
The death of the “Me” is this grail we are all looking for whether we know it or not, as they say!
Which makes me think how long I’ve tried to absolutely destroy forever this bloody ego!
But “what you resist, persist” right? so I figured that can’t possibly be THE WAY!
Mind stuff begets mind stuff!
I guess I have no other choice but to rest as awareness from now on and forever more…To Infinity…and Beyond!
And as Tony Parsons once simply put it: “Enlightenment has to do with relaxation!”
Thank you all for reading Nondual Comedy and Good Luck!
Joe Smith has found a new job at a famous computer factory.
The first day he worked at the “system repair” division.
There was great commotion and a guy across the room asked him a question.
It was difficult to understand but he heard something like
“Sat’ chid’ ananda?”
Joe Smith, being into the enlightenment stuff, with great delight shook his head and smiled in sign of recognition.
Indeed, “Satchidananda” is a Hindu term meaning
It is considered a description of the Absolute.
In short: Enlightenment!
Joe Smith thought he’d found another Satsang friend ^^
but he was soooo wrong !
In fact, Roger just asked “Is that chip Amanda’s?”
Amanda is a very good client who asked for a basic computer repair.
When a PC of competition, the kind that any hardcore gamers dream about, went back home… it made her day !
As for Joe Smith, he’s still considering Roger as a Satsang friend.^^
Alrighty then ! So today we’re gonna talk about what I am…
Well, what you are I mean.
The thinking mind is energy in movement. What is energy but form?
Something that appears and then subsides
cannot be anything other than form.
What is form but a THING?
Isn’t a THING just a word used to express THINGS
Are you a word? Are you a THING?
When you say “I am this, I am that” Who or What is saying all this?
Are You a thought? Where are you when this thought is gone?
“Yes but”, you say? What is “Yes but” but just another energy movement emerging from who you really are?
When I say “who you really are”, I’m not talking about the “you” that you take yourself to be usually!
No, I’m talking about me!
Well, not the “me” that you take me to be! The me that I am, the me that you are !
Dang, that’s contradictory, uh? What a paradox we have now.
How can I make you believe that when I say “I” and “you” I’m just using the pronouns my native tongue gave me to run my life effectively throughout this world of activity and forms.
Deprive me of my cherished pronouns and I’m Robocop in ING Mode!
Waking up, Eating banana, Chopping Wood, Carrying Water, Teasing sister, Breaking wind, etc…
How can I make you believe that since Adam and Eve I’ve only talked to myself in an endless soliloquy?
I’m crazy like clinically crazy, you see? ^^
What did you just say? I should consult a shrink?
Hey, that’s an idea, as ephemeral as “you” and “me” but still an idea !
Don’t be fooled please, I’m not enlightened like the most of you ^^
Well, I am but I haven’t fully recognized this fact yet !
I’ve just read too many Non-duality books and I’ve got my degree in Phony Teaching recently.
If you wanna check some Real Deal, golden phenomenon kinda teachers,
just look for the “learn about Nonduality” section from the Nondual Comedy home page.
Alright, so today we’re gonna learn about who we are.
Please, notice this white space (that’s who “we” really are).
Now consider this black spot and concentrate.
It is “you” ! Well, what “you” take yourself to be ! And if you look closer you might see “me”
thinking about what on earth I’m gonna write next to make you laugh…
Then, you might wanna look even deeper to discover that your family, your friends and acquaintances,
everyone is here !!!
Isn’t it clear already? We are all a bunch of TRANSLUCENT GHOULS !!
Just imagine the opening theme of “The X-files” going with it ! ^^
No website ??!
I’m oneness and by default already complete,
but what a SCARCITY MAaannn !!
Alright this pun is mildewy but I’m not very inspired okay?!!!
don’t laugh at me ^^
And by the way Mr David Carse, when you get a website let me know please, cuz I’m still looking !
David Carse wrote “Perfect Brilliant Stillness”
Today Follower X is introducing Newcomer to his Master.
Upon entering Bogus’ room, Newcomer noticed a framed quote on the wall stating:
“If you declare war to your mind, like Don Quixote you will battle against self-created delusions, and before the war even begins you have doomed yourself to failure.” Shiru
Follower X and Newcomer are now sitting around a silent and meditative Bogus Guru.
Newcomer: Can you tell me how to stop suffering once and for all, please?
Bogus Guru (mute) : …
Follower X: I try to be more present, but does it have to be a practice?
Bogus Guru: …
They asked questions for 10 minutes or so and he never pronounced a single word.
Follower X: We’re gonna leave now, thank you Master !
Newcomer, now becoming Follower Z: Hey, thanks, I like your teaching style ! (trying to impress him) Yeah Kathmandu ! ! !
Bogus Guru (as fresh as a tombstone) : …
Outside Bogus’ house:
Follower Z: WOW, He’s so enlightened ! His silence means something, you can bet on it!
He just closes his eyes and meditates right ? WOW I want to meditate like him, his Satsang was so different from the teachers I’ve been with !
Thanks for introducing me, man! Where did you find him?
Follower X: Woodstock !
Follower Z: Groovy ! This man is the Real Deal !
30 minutes later, inside Bogus’ house:
Bogus Guru (nonchalantly opening eyes):
Da-a-a-ang ! SACRED WEED, SACRED BONG !
Bogus guru is going to the mall today with some of his puppets, oh sorry, I mean fervent followers.
Today’s subject is : “the others”
Bogus Guru (to his followers):
Look closely at all these people.
They’re all looking for something outside of themselves, and if you’d dare to tell’em they don’t need anything to fulfill themselves, they would certainly reject you.
Follower 1 (so boring and predictable):
Oneness would be rejecting itself!!^^
Bogus Guru: exactly, exactly…good…good!
Follower 2 ( jealous, looking for validation by giving validation):
I like when you say “exactly, exactly…good…good!”
Bogus Guru (delighted): yeah, exactly…good…good!
Follower 3 (Bogus guru’s nightmare, there’s always one):
‘Know what? I could be one of those people, so it’s like you’ve just told me that I don’t need anything to fulfill myself and guess what?
I don’t reject you, no…
I THANK YOU because what you said SET ME FREE and I don’t need you anymore, BYE !
Bogus Guru (suddenly in need to fulfill himself):
I’m going to KFC !
(to the remaining followers) you join me?
Follower 1 and 2: YES !!!
“Let’s forget about him with some good fried chickens!”
“This guy was weird anyway !”
Bogus Guru: exactly, exactly…good…good!