Archive for October, 2009

MOOJI-ZENEGGER
October 31, 2009

moojizenegger

After the Upanishads, here comes the “U”punisher !

Visit Mooji‘s website.

A Zazen Story
October 29, 2009

Follower:  Master, what can I do to get what you have?

Zen Master:  I don’t have anything that you don’t !

Follower:  …pretty deep, but you get to hit people with a wooden stick and I don’t !

Zen Master (suddenly) :  Enough chatting, ZAZEN TIME EVERYONE !

(to the Follower) Please, this time you do the stick and I do Zazen !

And that’s what the ambitious follower did.

When the time to hit the Master with the stick came, the Master said three words:

HIT ME DARLING !

The Follower accomplished his duty,

but after that he never, EVER, envied his Master.

My Dear Oneness
October 24, 2009

My dear Oneness,

I think I am enlightened now and I won’t need much for Christmas.

I have realized that we are all one, there is no separation, I got it !

I just demand a blacklist please, because my boss is pissing me off !

Thank you  xxx

DJ RAMANA
October 23, 2009

Dj Ramana

giggity

Enlightenment Rocks, I’m telling you!
October 22, 2009

I was thinking the other day, this enlightenment craze is pretty cool!

You are not your thoughts, there are no “others”, no “me”, there is just oneness. That’s what we are!

So now imagine a second that a lightning destroyed your TV set and you’re pissed because you can’t watch the cricket game tonight (Welcome to UK)

Hey, wait a sec!… We are all ONE right?

Now imagine turning on a new TV set, reaching for a beer pack in the fridge and then you’re lying loosely on the couch.

Your neighbor comes back home from work  and you say, “hey don’t be shy, grab a beer!”.

He won’t call the police for breaking into his house because who the cops would arrest anyway?  Two-ness isn’t real, we are ONE being…  difficult to find someone to arrest in this condition ! :p

Disclaimer: This entire blog post is a JOKE. Don’t go shoplifting this garment you’ve craved for so long!

Don’t do anything that could be harmful to yourself or other people! If you do, I’ll call the Police!

Joe Smith and Byron Katie
October 21, 2009

Joe Smith is into the enlightenment thing and he’s been seeking for a while now.

He was surfing the web when he stumbled upon Byron Katie’s program “The Work”.

Joe Smith was about to click on the link to read the description but he quickly changed his mind ‘cuz

working is a chore.

Instead he decided to go about with a good old “deal with procrastination” tape by Brian Tracy.

The following day Byron Katie received an email stating “Sounds groovy, but I’m too busy smokin’ pot!”

Katie didn’t understand.

Non-duality for Dummies®
October 19, 2009

dummies book(fictitious “for Dummies” book)

Non-duality joke Corner – 1
October 18, 2009

What’s the difference between a reader of Non-duality books and a reader of the Bible?

None! There are no people reading here!

I swear, uhhh… I mean, uhhh… SHIT!

Reflections are spontaneously translated into words to SWEAR that this punch line hasn’t been influenced in any way by an illusory “me” reading Non-duality books regularly!

Oneness is swearing!

Seeking Addiction
October 17, 2009

seeking addiction

A morning with AdyaSHANDY
October 12, 2009

It’s time to start a new day.
It’s early in the morning, the air is fresh and soon the sun will  rise .
Happy Adya (called that way by his colleagues) is already on the construction site drilling like crazy before legal hours at 6:30 AM in the morning with his favorite jackhammer.

Happy Adya felt pretty cool in his aloneness this day until suddenly…

Sleepy head (sticking his head out of a flat window): AREN’T YOU MAD? DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

AdyaSHANDY: “There’s a great space in which this moment takes place you see?
There’s a great silence that’s listening to your complaints PAL, now ponder this!!”

Sleepy head (not looking so sleepy anymore):

I’M GONNA POUND YOUR FACE!! STOP YOUR JACKHAMMER, STOP THE RACKET NOW!!!

AdyaSHANDY (looking for a sense of “self” but failing):

“A jackhammer is SILENCE, just in another form you know?!!”

Sleepy head: “YOU DEAD MEAT, I’M COMING DOWN!!!

The Deal
October 11, 2009

echoes from the dark side of the soul mag the deal(fictitious magazine)

Left character:  “Your company is nice!” 🙂
Right character :  “Yours is pretty nice too!” 🙂

Self-talk♪

Left character :  “In U I see my profit, I need you!” 666
Right character:  “In U I see me, I need your ass!” 666

The shadow
October 9, 2009

echoes from the dark side of the soul mag-the-shadow(fictitious magazine)

Randall Friend the Peacemaker
October 8, 2009

Randall the peacemaker

“What cannot be (physically) touched with Second Life©, but that whereby Second Life© can (emotionally) touch:

know that Stallion to be Randall the Peacemaker and not what virtual 3d world gamers adore.”

Text inspired from the ancient scriptures of India: The Upanishads.

Original excerpt:

“What cannot be seen with the eye, but that whereby the eye can see: know that alone to be Brahman the Spirit and not what people here adore.”

Visit Randall Friend’s website .

Top5 New Metal Chart
October 3, 2009

Top5newmetalchart

(fictitious New Metal bands)

Bogus Guru
October 2, 2009

Bogus Guru invited Juliet, his new recruit, for a cup of tea at his flat.

He meticulously arranged everything so that it looks “heavenly” and “distinguished”.

Candlesticks, beedies, spiritual books, djembes, portraits of Indian masters, you name it…
the perfect panoply of the ideal witch doctor.

Until some suspicious hands aiming for her crotch wandered along her upper thighs, Juliet was having a great time.
He and Juliet had made out before but now things were getting more intimate and she wasn’t sure anymore…

Bogus Guru (giving his best falsified smile): “it’s fine, I love you!”

Juliet (uneasy): “How could you know that? we’ve only met 3 days ago…You barely know me!”

Bogus Guru : “You mean you barely know yourself!! There’s no-one to love anyone here! Love simply IS!
When I say “I love you” I’m talking to my own self!

…and OF COURSE I loooooove myself!!!!” (unzip sound)